Jennifer Aniston bags out her own crap love life

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Images: Getty

At least Jennifer Aniston can laugh about her crap relationship choices.
The 40-year-old sexy single burst out laughing when someone took a swipe at her douchebag ex John Mayer at the Women in Film Awards in California recently.

"You have increased the visibility of women in film, and we thank you for that," said Chelsea Handler while presenting Jen with an award.

"You've recently decreased the visibility of John Mayer, so we thank you for that."

Meow! A witness told Usmagazine.com that "Jen threw her head in her hands and was laughing so hard" at the dig.

"Her two girlfriends on either side started laughing hysterically."

When accepting the gong (which was a Crystal Award for Excellence in Film, by the way), Jen remarked, "I have a strange parallel with movies I was doing and my life off screen.

First, it was The Good Girl... which evolved into Rumor Has It, followed by Derailed" - a reference to her one-time marriage to Brad Pitt, perhaps?

"Then there was The Breakup," she continued. "Followed by the lighter side, Friends With Money.

"If anyone has a movie called Everlasting Love With an Adult Stable Man, that would be great!" she laughed.

"I'm at table six, and my agents are at table 12."

Loving the crap out of that! Check out Jennifer's evolution from geeky teen to Hollywood glamour girl in our gallery!

Jennifer Aniston on John Mayer: 'We Adore One Another'

people.com

By Brian Orloff

Photo by: Mark Davis / Getty; Dimitrios Kambouris / WireImage
Jennifer Aniston has a simple message when it comes to her on-again relationship with John Mayer: "People need to mind their own business," the actress tells Vogue in its December issue.

Of course, Aniston, 39, understands why so many people are intrigued by their romance. There's the age difference – Mayer is nine years younger – and the musician's high-profile past relationships with starlets like Jessica Simpson.

"Did you ever think Claudia Schiffer and David Copperfield made sense?" Aniston says, jokingly comparing her relationship to equally unexpected celebrity couples. "Did Susan Anton and Dudley Moore make sense? Wait! I got more!"

When they met at an Oscar party last February, Aniston says she "barely knew his music." But the two began dating – Aniston flew to England where the rocker was touring – and their relationship developed before the cameras.

Did she know it was going to work out at the time?

"You know, it isn't designed," Aniston says. "Love just shows up and you go, 'Oh, wow, this is going to be a hayride and a half.' "


"I Feel Seriously Protective" of Mayer
When talking about Mayer's famous run-in with reporters outside a gym in Manhattan where he said about their split, "I don't want to waste somebody's time if something's not right," Aniston isn't ruffled.

"He had to put that out there that he broke up with me," she says, about Mayer's comments. "And especially because it's me. It's not just some girl he’s dating. I get it. We're human. But I feel seriously protective of him and us."

Adds Aniston: "It's funny when you hit a place in a relationship and you both realize [that] we maybe need to do something else, but you still really, really love each other. It's painful. There was no malicious intent. I deeply, deeply care about him; we talk, we adore one another. And that's where it is.”


On Her Relationship with Brad Pitt
Equally candid about her ex-husband, Brad Pitt, Aniston says she has spoken to him since their divorce, and calls their split "amicable."

"The marriage didn't work out," she tells the magazine. "Pretty soon after we separated, we got on the phone and we had a long, long conversation with each other and said a lot of things, and ever since we've been unbelievably warm and respectful of each other."

(Aniston also shares some thoughts about Pitt's partner, Angelina Jolie, with the magazine.)

Aniston, who says she's been "unbelievably lucky in love," is also practical about the subject. "Whoever said everything has to be forever," she says. "That's setting your hopes too high. It's too much pressure. And I think if you put that pressure on yourself … that's unattainable."

"Spotted kissing": Jen and John back on?

CelebrityFIX

Has Jennifer Aniston crawled back to her bigmouth ex John Mayer? It's looking likely - as they were spotted on a "public date" in Boston on Friday.
A source told Us Weekly that John and Jen openly hung out at a Ray LaMontagne concert, while John was in town teaching a week-long music class.

"It was a very public date," the source said.

The two Js reportedly flew to New York City for the rest of the weekend - together. Then The National Enquirer reported they headed to LA - and were spotted making out at an airport.

“They were very lovey-dovey,” said their source. “They kissed several times and hugged each other tightly. “John gave her a long, lingering kiss.”

Jen, 39, and John, 31, had officially been an item for four months until their split in August - supposedly due to John's reluctance to settle down and have babies. post, split, John made sure he let reporters and paps know that he was the one doing the dumping. We're surprised Jen would go back there!

Jennifer Aniston says 'no' to surgery

New Idea
Jennifer Aniston has ruled out having plastic surgery.

The former 'Friends' actress - who turns 40 next year - insists the only reason she would ever consider going under the surgeon's knife would be for medical purposes.

She said: "I once had the degree of my deviated septum operated on. Since then, I can breathe much better and sleep nights like a baby. The rest of my body is all mine. And absolutely natural. And it's going to stay that way. I am very satisfied with what God gave me."

Jennifer also revealed she maintains her svelte figure with regular yoga sessions. She added: "I do the best I can to keep myself fit, both in body and mind. I also draw a lot of strength and energy from yoga, new age and cosmic energies. I very much believe in karma - the way you treat your fellow man is how you will ultimately be treated yourself."

What do you think about Jen's decision not to have plastic surgery? Share with other New Idea readers below

Red carpet collision for Brad and Jen

Yahoo!7

Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston could be reunited at this year's Toronto International Film Festival.

The couple - whose divorce was finalised in October 2005 - may meet on the red carpet at the prestigious annual event as Brad's new movie 'Burn After Reading' opens on September 5 while Jennifer's film 'Management' premieres on September 7.

A source said: "It could be awkward for them both but I am sure their professionalism will ensure there are no public fireworks."

Although Brad and Jennifer have not been seen in public together since 2005, Jennifer frequently meets up with Brad's mother Jane - a relationship which is said to anger Brad's current partner Angelina Jolie.

Brad and Jennifer tied the knot in Malibu in July 2000.

Rumours of marital problems surfaced in 2004 as Brad filmed 'Mr. and Mrs. Smith' alongside Angelina.

Jennifer, 39, filed for divorce in March 2005. A month later, Brad, 44, was seen with Angelina on a beach in Kenya.

Both Brad and Angelina, 32, have denied they were romantically involved before he split from the 'Friends' actress.

It was recently reported Brad "despised" Jennifer Aniston after just six weeks of marriage, according to his 'Spy Game' co-star Omid Djalili.

Omid revealed: "I did a scene with Brad in the back of a taxi and it was only a few days after he had married Jennifer. I chatted to him for hours giving him advice about the three stages of marriage.

"Stage one is perfection - blind love. Stage two is the difficult stage because you start to despise everything about her. If you can deal with the baggage you can possibly get to stage three - a harmonious marriage.

"After six weeks Brad came up to me and said, 'I'm definitely in stage two Omid!' "

Jen and John - It's over!

Musician John Mayer is rumoured to have ended his three-month relationship with the former 'Friends' actress because of long-term commitment issues.

Friends say tension between the couple lead to a trial separation, but other sources suggest Jennifer, 39, has already moved on and is dating male model Matt Felker - who starred in the video for Britney Spears' song 'Toxic'.

A source close to John, 30, told a British newspaper: "John is still mulling over their relationship. He likes to have some space before deciding it is definitely over. But he may be too late. If these rumours that she is dating a model are true, he will be really upset."

John and Jennifer were reportedly planning to move in together after his present tour ends in September and marriage was even rumoured.

However, despite reports the pair were ready to settle down, the relationship apparently broke down because John felt he couldn't commit to Jennifer's plans. A source said: "John took the decision to end things as he felt he just wasn't ready for the level of commitment that Jennifer deserved.

"Contrary to reports, Jennifer didn't want to have kids or marry this year, but she did want to set a timetable for their future together. She also wanted him to assure her he would cut down his tours in the future when they did eventually have children."
Jennifer has had a rocky love life.

Former husband Brad Pitt left her three years ago for his 'Mr. and Mrs. Smith' co-star Angelina Jolie. Since her divorce, she has dated Vince Vaughn and male model Paul Sculfor.

New Idea

Jennifer Aniston - The 'trial' wife

New Idea
Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer are planning a "trial marriage".
The couple - who have been dating for three months - are said to be keen to test the strength of their relationship, and think John moving into Jennifer's house is the perfect first step. A source said: "John wants to settle down as much as Jennifer does.
"What's more, he's been telling her that he thinks she is the one and she believes him."
John's move into Jennifer's Beverly Hills mansion is set to happen after his tour ends in September. The couple are also reportedly planning a family.
The source added to a British magazine: "John is the first guy since Brad who has talked seriously about having children and Jennifer is very excited about it."
Jennifer was previously married to Brad Pitt for five years. They separated in 2005 amid allegations he was cheating on her with actress Angelina Jolie, with who he now has six children.

Jen's out of control beauty binge

Jennifer Aniston has reportedly been spending $AUD8,212 a month on her appearance.
The 39-year-old actress is allegedly worried her younger boyfriend, John Mayer, 30, will leave her for a younger woman and so has been splashing out to maintain her looks and figure.
The astonishing sum reportedly includes $AUD2,053 on a personal chef and $AUD1,539 for one-on-one yoga sessions with Los Angeles' top instructor, Mary Ingber.
A source revealed: "Jennifer doesn't have time to prepare her own healthy meals, so she's signed up with this organic, high-protein, low-fat meal delivery service."
Jennifer has reportedly been shelling out on beauty treatments costing her hundreds of dollars a time.
The source added to Britain's Grazia magazine: "Jennifer has been spending $AUD1,539 a month on seaweed and oxygen facials. She claims they instantly erase lines, dark spots and puffiness.
"Amazingly, she doesn't have a trace of cellulite. And now it seems she's become more scrupulous about her thighs, having anti-cellulite spa sculpting treatments that cost about $AUD1,027 a month. She's also been spending around $AUD719 on exfoliating body wraps. "Jen invests up to $AUD616 a month on maintaining her hair too."
Also on Jen's list are personal training sessions, manicures and pedicures at $AUD308 per month and $AUD205 a week on massages to ease stress.

(C) BANG Media International

Photo: WireImage.com

yahoo7

Watch out Jen: John Mayer sleeps with groupies

ninemsn

Jennifer Aniston better keep a tight grip on new man John Mayer - the baby-faced crooner has admitted to hooking up with groupies in the past, and we all know how good Jen is at picking the guys with wandering eyes!
A New York radio station quizzed John on whether he had ever hooked up with a fan after one of his shows, to which he gave a refreshingly frank answer: “I might have hooked up with people, but as soon as I hooked up, they weren’t fans anymore.”

“Do you respect me for my honesty? The answer is, yes, I have. But not in a really long time.”

So is Jen safe, or what? “I’m not trusting enough to open up to anyone I don’t really know anymore, which is good for my immune system,” he said.

And good for your physical health too - imagine the wrath of Courteney Cox-Arquette if John does the dirty on Jen!